reality : unscripted

you snooze, you lose!

Fri, 20 Jul 2007 14:26:02 GMT

Dear Readers

I have been an unforgivably lazy blogger and I know it! I beg my audience to forgive me and hope my new-found fervour compensates (somewhat) for lost time.

I am back in The Motherland for summer vacation, and my, what a vacation it is! I have the flu, for the second time this month. I am going through books faster than our dear Irish Alco goes through tea. He's hopelessly addicted, with an average of 6 cups a day, poor thing! It could be my illness, but I suspect it's my inner craving for reading en masse, which I only get to do when I have so many idle hours bunched together.

On to happier news then, as I am going to sign off rather quickly today, due to my sick state. Once again, gk finds herself in the throes of new-found love and is dancing on clouds (such as 9, amongst others). As you can see, 2 semesters of film school, 2 haircuts and 2 trips on, we find our protagonist a little grown-up, a little mature-r and just as silly as ever. Perhaps it is a good thing, then, that her aforementioned new-found love is almost as immature and silly as she is. (Note how I said 'almost'.)

Well readers, 'tis time to part now. Parting, as we all know, 'tis such sweet sorrow, as old Willy Shakespeare used to say. I must return to my lazy communication across the seas with my 'mister' and all of you must return to more constructive pursuits. I promise much more fun and revelry next time, when I feel better. 'Til the next fix, adieu!

luv,

gaurika*

Extra thought: I wonder if Ju-Jube thinks of me 'when the stars go blue', because I do. (Name the musical reference)

atwood on sleep

Fri, 27 Apr 2007 21:04:28 GMT

Oh, how I love Atwood, both as a writer and a poet. This is one of my favourites. It makes me think, and feel.

luv,

gaurika

Variation On The Word Sleep

by Margaret Atwood

I would like to watch you sleeping, 
which may not happen.
I would like to watch you,
sleeping. I would like to sleep
with you, to enter
your sleep as its smooth dark wave
slides over my head



and walk with you through that lucent
wavering forest of blue green leaves
with its watery sun & three moons
towards the cave where you must descend,
towards your worst fear



I would like to give you the silver
branch, the small white flower, the one
word that will protect you
from the grief at the center
of your dream, from the grief
at the center. I would like to follow
you up the long stairway
again & become
the boat that would row you back
carefully, a flame
in two cupped hands
to where your body lies
beside me, and you enter
it as easily as breathing in



I would like to be the air
that inhabits you for a moment
only. I would like to be that unnoticed
& that necessary.

Bras are Beautiful

Thu, 12 Apr 2007 23:17:45 GMT

I am not a bra-burning feminist; I love my lingerie too much.

Why should I be afraid to reveal that I know more about cars and how to fix them than many of my male friends, for fear of being thought of as 'not girlie'? Why should I hide the fact that I enjoy a night in watching football and drinking beer, just because it is not seen as 'classy'? Does that mean that the entire male population is not classy? If yes, then should I care about their judgements anyway? Why am I seen as a man-hating woman if I stubbornly want to open my own pickle jars? Since when did condiments become politics? Why were dozens of mentions of phallic symbols made when I studied a course in literature, and none made of a yonic symbol? (I am certain that many of my classmates have never even heard the word 'yonic'. Look it up.) And if more art contained yonic symbols, would people want to see it? Does anyone study if women like their reproductive organs represented as a flower? Does anyone know who Georgia O'Keeffe and Alfred Stieglitz are? Why do people keep telling me to downplay my success because no man wants to date/marry a woman equally or more successful than he is? I do not hate men. I like them very much. Sometimes too much, I think. I think it's silly that I still have schoolgirl crushes and feel elated when I find out that some boy I know likes/fancies me too (word depending on your version of English). Can women ever completely stop caring about The Male Gaze? Who's approval matters more? Do I believe in the mirror and boost my self-confidence or ask every male friend I have if I am 'hot'? Why is it so strange when I give a boy the 'I need some space' talk? If equality is what everyone wants, and men get annoyed if you expect them to pay the bill, then why do they also get annoyed if you take the driver's seat? What is feminism anyway these days?

I am not a bra-burning feminist; I love my lingerie too much.
Besides, bras last longer than many relationships.

p.s. Excuse the misleading title. Sensationalism is everything.

Infinite

Sun, 18 Feb 2007 01:17:12 GMT

Infinite

These solitary hills have always been dear to me.
Seated here, this sweet hedge, which blocks the distant horizon opening inner silences and interminable distances.
I plunge in thought to where my heart, frightened, pulls back.
Like the wind which I hear tossing the trembling plants which surround me, a voice from the inner depths of spirit shakes the certitudes of thought.
Eternity breaks through time, past and present intermingle in her image.
In the inner shadows I lose myself,
drowning in the sea-depths of timeless love.

Giacomo Leopardi

Rice Rituals

Sat, 17 Feb 2007 19:23:58 GMT

Hello readers..

It has been a while, hasn't it? I have been busy scouting locations for my next film and searching for cast. However, enough about work. I have a few interesting anecdotes to share...

I had a very eventful Valentine's day. I had to do a shoot for a volunteer group I work for. I had a person to help me with the camera, but no sound recordist. I was walking down the hall at uni, thinking out loud and I said "Where's a sound person when you need one?". Suddenly, this boy walking down the hall stopped and said "I am a sound student." I asked him if he happened to be free for a shoot at this exact moment and he said yes. Lou and I were amazed; we couldn't believe our luck! He also added that he had his own recording equipment. We just silently stood and thanked the cosmos for being so generous. Just as we were figuring out how we would get to the location with so much gear, he overheard us and mentioned he had a car. Now we were in hysterics. How was this possible? To cut a long story short, we got to the shoot and realized our tripod was out of service. One of the legs was broken. Immediately, super-sound-boy whipped out a pair of pliers and fixed the broken leg. I was speechless by now and wondered what great things I had done in my previous life to deserve such a thing. On the way back from the shoot, I unknowingly talked aloud again, wondering how we would get the gear back to uni the next day. He said he was going to uni now and could return it all. Lou and I died laughing. She giggled like there was no tomorrow. Latest update? I may be purchasing a second-hand camera from this boy. He happens to have a lovely two lens analog SLR kit he needs to get rid of in order to go digital. Does life get any better? Do good coincidences only happen in the movies? No.

Now the tragic story. I have so far made one very unsuccessful attempt at rice from scratch. I am sick of the taste of boil-in-the-bag rice. It is so un-fluffy and tasteless. My attempt resulted in a sticky mass which resembled glue on a warm day, melting slowly. Nevertheless, I ate this disgusting mass, because I am one of those people who hate wasting food. I don't know if I will ever get this complicated recipe right. Pray for me, dear readers.

I must run along now, for a nice bag of Uncle Ben. Sigh.

Luv,

gk*

It's not just me who's a fan

Mon, 12 Feb 2007 18:19:17 GMT

What other rock stars are saying about Oasis, as they are set to receive an award for Outstanding Contribution to Music at the Brit Awards this year...

John, The Coral
"Oasis changed everything! Before, it was scallys and skinheads and as soon as they'd come up all these Scallys started growing their hair!"

Billy Corgan
"I like Oasis. I just don't the rehearsing of the "bad rock attitude."

John Mayer
"Oasis are fantastic. The Gallagher brothers are like professional wrestling - they're not really hitting people over the head with a real trashcan, but it's fun to watch. it's great theatre. It's kind of like Alice Cooper with a microcassette recorder."

Alesha Dixon
"I love Oasis, I think they're great! My mates at school loved them but, erm, I liked Take That."

My Chemical Romance
"(What's The Story) Morning Glory? is one of the best albums of all time. The Whole Brit pop thing affected us on a deep level. But if we were in the same room I'd keep a safe distance. Although they seem like alright guys, you don't want to assume they're gonna like you!"

Corinne Bailey Rae
"The first album helped me to learn to play guitar. Before that, pop music was about The Inspiral Carpets or EMF or impenetratable stuff like Quincy Jones. Noel made song writing about melodies again."

Dan Gillespie-Sells, The Feeling
"I was so excited when Oasis's first record came out. Noel is such a great songwriter. Those songs will be around for many years."

Jon Fratelli
"Oasis and Blur were probably the last great bands to come out of Britain. I like the classics, because it's hard not to like them, but I like the B-sides album, too. My favourite Oasis song is on there, Rocking Chair."

Danny Jones, McFly
"I think Oasis are one of the most influential bands of all time. I've met Liam, talked to him for ages and had a beer with him. It's like meeting my idol. I can die happy now."

The Kooks
"We've seen Oasis about seven times! The first tune when Oasis play festivals is unbelieveable, because the guitars are so massive. And when they do cigarettes & alcohol... Brilliant!

Michael Stodart, The Magic Numbers
"Oasis got loads of people buying guitars and joining groups and wanting to write songs and being abit crazy. We met three of' em... even Paul! "

Orson
"The 1990's certainly belonged to Oasis. The first part of the millennium, too. Terrific band. "

Wayne Coyne, The Flaming Lips
"The moment I most loved about Oasis was at Glastonbury in 2003. They played an Oasis song over the PA for the crowd and it was the biggest singalong of the day. There's some kind of human momentum that comes along with a hundred and thirty thousand people all identifying with something so clearly. "

Simon Webbe
"I grew up listening to Oasis, they're good Manchester lads. And because of Wonderwall, I have Noel to thank for my daughter, Alannah! "

Russell Brand
"My favourite Oasis song is Songbird, because of how it was named. When Liam wrote it, he said, "I wrote a song for my bird. It's called Songbird."

Matt Willis
"In Noel and Liam you've got the basis of every great rock'n'roll story. Two brothers who love/hate each other, but you know each one could not exist without the other. I love you, Oasis! I love you! "

Source: Brit's Magazine

ode to seamie

Fri, 09 Feb 2007 03:43:56 GMT

Tales of the Sandy-Haired Boy

It’s ironic that in the (many) months I’ve been here, I haven’t blogged about my closest friend in Sheffield. And now he’s left (leaving me bereft), though hopefully not forever, and I find that I need to write about him and us and the magical friendship we share. Yes, that was present tense. We ain’t dead yet, people!

Where should I start? He has lovely green-blue eyes, though more blue than green. They were one of the first things I noticed and liked about him. And he has interesting hair. It has several shades of brown and looks sun-bleached, like someone who lives in a house by the beach all summer. And it is really soft and nice to touch. He has dozens of freckles which also remind me of beach holidays, because they are the colour of sand. But enough about appearances. Beauty isn’t skin deep, you know. Tee hee!

He is a fun person to hang out with. He loves joking around and rarely takes himself or other people seriously, which is what I liked about him immediately. He understands my jokes and isn’t offended by some of them! He is technologically illiterate and seeks my wisdom on such matters. He likes a night out on the town, bar-hopping and dancing. He’s a really great dancer too, even though I never guessed it when we first met. His accent is (I now know) typically Irish and he rolls his R’s way more than I do. We have loads of fun watching movies at the cinema, watching plays and just hanging out at a pub when there’s not much else to do. Curry club is a constant day to look forward to, as are random dinners in cute little Italian places. We also both love window shopping and cribbing about a general lack of funds, as students! We cook sometimes, buy cheap wine and drink it all up and then feel sleepy in the morning. We have had dozens of conversations late at night in my kitchen, just lounging on the sofa and talking about stuff-sometimes funny, sometimes serious. He adores it when I mess with his hair when we sit there, because it makes him sleepy.

But Seamy has a dark side too. He is a neat freak and chides my messy ways. He is also the self-proclaimed ‘King of Mashed Potatoes’. He has an insane passion for tuna and sweet corn, as well as Daz detergent. He can be very stubborn sometimes. He also waits until the very edge of a deadline to start working and will then spend an entire night in the library if need be. It is indeed scary. I fell asleep there. He is a good student though. One of the best producers I’ve ever seen. But that’s enough about his sinister side…

Above everything, he is a priceless friend to have. He looks after me like family, makes sure I eat, especially when I am busy with work and forget to eat, or when I am sick. He has cooked for me several times, when I was just too exhausted to move. He listens well and gives good advice, without judging too harshly. (Because, as we all know, everyone judges!) He has amazing fashion sense and consistently encourages me to dress like a girl. That can’t be a bad thing, right? He has been there for me through crisis situations, remaining perfectly calm, warm and caring.

I am now veering towards dangerous mushiness, so I will stop. This entry is dedicated to the great Seamy-Gaurika friendship that was, is and will be. Here’s to a good friend. I am glad we met and thankful you were there for me so much. I hope I touched your life in the same way you did, and I promise I will never forget you.

When you left, I couldn’t come up with the perfect gift, so I gave you what I know best and means the most to me-my music. I shared my old favourites and newer discoveries. I also gave you a bunch of movies, my other passion. It was the most meaningful gift I could give and I hope you get as much joy out of the songs as I did. And I hope that wherever you are, someday, some song will remind you of me and the great times we spent. I wish you all the best for the future, no matter what course your life takes. You are a hard-working kid and will make it in whatever you choose to do. You should know that you are missed terribly, everytime I pass Starbucks or Flirt or Wetherspoons. But I get through each day slowly. And I pray that someday I finally meet Princess. Because goodbyes are not forever.

Lots of love,

gaurika*

p.s. me love you looong time...hahahaha!

why do i keep doing these???

Wed, 31 Jan 2007 13:48:31 GMT

i am hungover and bored...so here goes...fillin out another one of these for johnny boy...

I want to know 20 things about you. I don't care if we've never talked, never liked each other, or if we already know every thing about each other. You are obviously on my list, let me know with whom I am friends! It's really easy, JUST HIT REPLY....thanks!

1. Your Name: gaurika alyonoushka kapoor/gk/noushka/rika
2. Age: 22
3. Single or Taken: single and waiting for johnny storm! hahaha
4. Favorite Movie: they change everyday...at the moment, Breakfast at Tiffany's...i fall in love with it everytime i see it...
5. Favorite Color: purple
6. Favorite Music: brit rock, indie, and alt rock...n of course, OASIS!
7. Sweet or Mischievous: you tell me...i'd pick the latter!
8. Tattoos and/or Piercings: hmm...5 of each...

HERE COMES THE FUN... ... ...

1. Do we know each other outside of Myspace? duh!

2. Why did you add me? i honestly don't know!

3. Would you have my back in a fight? sure homie...always...you can jus hide behind me! ha ha...na, i wud always back a friend...

4. Would you keep a secret from me that I had a right to know? depends, how do u define 'secrets that you have a right to know'? i guess i might keep it if i knew it wud hurt you a lot...

5. Rate yourself out of 10 as a person and explain why? i say 9 because even though i love myself i think there's always room for improvement...(cheezy answer? 5, becoz i am only half a person without you! awww)

6. Would you give me the kiss of life if I was pretending 2 die? err...ya...ok...u better be a good kisser!

7. Tell me one odd/interesting fact about you: i am obsessed with beauty products even though i only use the bare essentials!

8. Would you take care of me if I was sick? aww...poor baby! sure i would...unlike some people (rolls eyes)

9. What do I remind you of? what or who? erm...comic books, chocolate, and sporty men in general...

10. Whats your best feature? apart from my charm and wit? i'd say my hands...they are very feminine and pretty, unlike most of moi! oh and my undying loyalty to people i care about...i've heard it's a valued trait!

11. If you could change 1 thing about yourself what would it be? my nose! then my oh-so-modest personality!

12. First impression of me? 'the nice guy'

13. Could we get along on a road trip? only if i am driving and we dont fight over music

14. If you didn't know me, & you saw me in the street - What would your first thought be? cutie! :) hahahahaha

15. If you could change anything about me, would you & what would it be? that jacket..i am sick of seeing it!

16. Would you feel comfortable sleeping next to me? i don't know...do you hog the duvet?

17. Would you trust me sleeping next 2 me? gk looks heavenwards

18. What would you do if I picked food off your plate? scream at you, then give you the plate anyway...

19. If you had 1 day to spend with me before I died, what would you want to do? sit in a pretty grassy spot and talk for hours...and eat homemade brownies...

20. Will you post this so I can fill it out for you? ya , u better reply!

drink for peace!

Sun, 28 Jan 2007 17:52:02 GMT

dear all,

i have always wanted to blog while drunk. it is not as unsafe as, say, driving while in the same condition. i tried to perform this feat yesterday, but i only got as far as this first line. i was progressively getting sleepier and more tired, though not plastered. i was eating some 'irish soda bread' seamie left behind and drinking south african wine and feeling very multi-cultural indeed. i recently watched 'the english patient' again and so sat imagining a world without borders, without countries. how lovely would that be? yay...

me must sign off now, as i am at risk of spewing more random-ness than is absolutely necessary. oh, in other news for today, i went to debenham's and bought a really pretty outfit-a skirt (pink and grey tartan) i wanted for the longest time and then a fitted black scoop neck sweater (with a satin ribbon at the waist and three-fourth length sleeves), which i just happened to spot near the skirt. they looked so lovely together when i tried them on that i nearly wept with joy. i had to had to have it! also, i remembered alco's nasty comment about me being a 'practical dresser', so i whipped out my plastic and went to the till bravely. yes, it is the start of a revolution. the one where the practical girl in the sensible shoes takes a few risks and dresses glam for a change. (then she realizes this is really not her thing and totally unsuitable for the weather and reverts to converse shoes asap, but that's part two!)

will keep everyone posted on my new avatar...

luv,

gaurika*, the girlie girl

in the meantime, occupy thyselves with this awesome webpage about beer and other alcohols...

http://www.sotallytober.com/funnies/barroomtranslations.php

let it shnowww!

Sun, 21 Jan 2007 20:38:00 GMT

Dear Loyal Readers,

I realize it has been long since I last wrote. I have been severely occupied in typing of another nature, a.k.a. writing assignments for college and working on oh-so-dreaded presentations. They were nerve-racking to say the least. However, I have made it through these trying times and am now writing again for my public. Well, the misery still isn’t really over, because I have another one this Thursday, but as you can see, I am clearly too distracted to work and it was too rainy to go to the library today.

On the subject of weather, we witnessed a tiny bit of snow in Sheffield today. Yes indeed, I said SNOW. The weather channel called it a flurry, so I decided to explore types of snowfall on Wikipedia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flurries). Here are but a few:

Flurries - A period of light snow with usually little accumulation with occasional moderate snowfall.

Sleet - In Britain, rain mixed with snow; in America, ice pellets formed when snowflakes pass through a layer of warm air, thaw, then refreeze on further descent.

Soft hail - Granules of snow or ice pellets formed when supercooled water accretes on ice crystals or snowflakes.

Snizzle - A mixture of snow and drizzle. This termed was coined by a meteorologist on the Boston television station WBZ-TV. This one is my favourite!

Anyone who can tell me the difference between all of these will be rewarded. So anyway, it happened for a few minutes and then ended as soon as it began. My friends in college and I shared the experience over messenger. It was beautiful. Sigh.

I will now leave you all to contemplate white christmases and snow and snowmen and making snow angels and snowball fights…and then a cozy fireplace. Lovely, isn’t it?

Adieu, my bright-eyed, bushy-tailed readers!

Luv,

Gaurika*

Another Landmark

Fri, 12 Jan 2007 10:11:22 GMT

BREAKING NEWS

Once again, this humble space has outdone itself. I am proud to announce that we have crossed 3100 page views recently! Can you believe it? I would like to once again thank all of you for reading, encourage you to continue to idle away your working hours here and ask you to kindly leave comments when you do so, so that I can return the kindness by visiting your spaces. I would also like to thank my mommy, the msn people, etc etc and all that jazz. Now I am off to do some studying but will return soon with more inanity. Keep on reading people, you inspire me to keep writing, for what is a writer without an audience? Deep words, those. Then again, I did just age maturely, like a fine wine. Vintage '84.

luv and smiles,

gaurika*

johnny be good

Fri, 12 Jan 2007 01:16:13 GMT

welcome all...

This blog entry is dedicated, by request, to a classmate of mine named Jon. He is a writer and cinematographer, and a pretty decent amateur photographer. He's tall, dark and charming, always polite. He also plays american football, so you may assume that he is in good shape. (wink wink) He has a silly and sometimes cheesy sense of humour, but is also one of the most diplomatic people I know. I can't even imagine him arguing with anyone. He has lovely flatmates, who own yet more lovely pet mice! Another great thing about Johnny boy is that he has a kickass home entertainment system. It is worthy of envy, which I shall bestow upon it generously. He is a hardworking kid, who balances studying and sports and two jobs! Oops...was Woollies not supposed to know? Erm. The only bad thing about Jon is his inability to keep his promises. I think this may stem from a deep seated psychological problem, but I will not get into commitment-phobia here; it is too public a domain. Tee hee! Jon has a sweet tooth that is n-e-v-e-r satisfied. Luckily, he shares this passion with yours truly, and his goodies too! A passion he does not share with me is his mysterious fetish for comic books, Marilyn Monroe and graphic novels. Sigh, they are all the same. Boys I mean!

While many may say that Johnny boy is always in the library, watching films and studying, I know he has another side too. He can be unabashedly funny for hours and very entertaining. He is also a superhero in disguise, although whether he wants to be superman or a jedi knight is still a matter of debate. At the end of the day, he's a great guy to have around. He's an awesome listener and an all-round good guy. He will help in any way he can, even if it means going out of his way to do so. I shall now sign off, and leave him with a few parting pearls of wisdom from gk the great-they say that good guys finish last, but sometimes good things come to those who wait. Go figure. Now have fun and never stop 'filming'. Here's a song dedicated to Johnny, for reasons I cannot reveal at the moment, due to copyright issues! Til the next fix, keep on reading people!

luv,

gaurika*

I Want Candy ~ The Bangles

I know a guy who's tough but sweet
He's so fine, he can't be beat
He's got everything that I desire
Sets the summer sun on fire

I want candy, I want candy

Go to see him when the sun goes down
Ain't no finer boy in town
You're my guy, just what the doctor ordered
So sweet, you make my mouth water

I want candy, I want candy

Candy on the beach, there's nothing better
But I like candy when it's wrapped in a sweater
Some day soon I'll make you mine,
Then I'll have candy all the time

I want candy, I want candy
I want candy, I want candy...

quiz numero 3

Sun, 07 Jan 2007 21:51:58 GMT

Body: EIGHT LASTS:
8. last cigarette: new year day
7. last beverage: diet pepsi
6. last phone call: mom
5. last text message: seamie
4. last cd played: the kooks
3. last BUBBLE bath: i can't remember
2. last time you cried: About a week ago
1. last meal: potato wedges, garlic bread, pizza n chocolate cake

SEVEN have you's:
7. have you ever dated someone twice? yes
6. have you ever been cheated on?: yes
5. have you ever kissed someone & regretted it: once
4. have you ever fallen in love?: yes
3. have you ever lost someone?: yes
2. have you ever been depressed: duh, i ain't the ice princess
1. have you ever broke up for no reason?: No...why wud i?

SIX things you did in the past four days:
1. Travelled
2. Book buying
2. Bought groceries
4. Cleaned my room
5. Unpacked
6. Went on a date

FIVE things you hate
1. Onions
2. Pineapple
3. Wet socks
4. Tangled hair
5. Yellow

4 things you love

1. Oasis
2. Chocolate
3. Reading
4. Beanie babies

list THREE favorite colors.

1. Purple
2. Black
3. Blue

list TWO things you want to do before you die -

1. Become insanely famous

2. Go to Antarctica

In the past month have you...

Made a new friend? no
Fallen out of love? yes
Laughed until you cried? yes
Went behind your parents back? yes
Met someone who changed your life? no
Gotten close to someone? no
Found out who your true friends were? yes indeed

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF
1. Bush? He should be spanked, or trimmed.

2. Lowering the drinking age? How dare they???

3. Love at first sight: It happens in the movies. With me, it's more like 'lust at first sight'!

5.Do you wanna change your name?: nope

6.What did you do for your last birthday: my friends threw a party for me at Kato's, and it was dramatic to say the least! A Bollywood potboiler in the making.

7.What were you doing at midnight last night?: talking to jonny boy

8.Name something you CANNOT wait to do: Buy a new camera!

9.Last time you saw your father: When i was 6 months old.

to Z

Sun, 07 Jan 2007 00:20:56 GMT

Recently, someone very close to me wrote a blog entry for me. Not only did this flatter me and send my ego flying, but I was also deeply touched. I'm kidding about the earlier stuff, but I was truly touched. I agree that sometimes it's difficult to find the words to describe what you are feeling or thinking at a given time, and sometimes a song can express it perfectly. We've been through a lot, him and I. Intense partying, sudden chemistry, and suddenly we were dating. People said we were rushing things. Maybe they were right, but it never felt wrong to us. I guess that's kinda how we've always operated. :) Unfortunately, the joy was short-lived and I thought we would never talk again, much less be friends. Everyone told us to stay apart, but we made our peace, much to the dismay and shock of those around us. (Don't you just love it when that happens?) And just when we thought things were looking up and we could be happy again, I had to leave.

This entry is for you, fuzzy. I don't need to tell you how much you mean to me, because you already know. You are the only person who gets my silly jokes, loves the crossword as much as I do, quotes songs and verse, and can dance with me to slow rock without feeling like a misfit. You are my comfort zone. And one day we will meet again, and I hope nothing changes. Long ago, I told you that we needed this distance. I don't quite know what to say this time. Do take care of yourself, be a good 'boy' and don't do anything I wouldn't do! (read-peer pressure) And here's one of those (many) songs, that...oh you know what they do...

luv always,

your noushka

Fix You ~ Coldplay

When you try your best, but you don’t succeed
When you get what you want, but not what you need
When you feel so tired but you can’t sleep
Stuck in reverse

And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can’t replace
When you love someone, but it goes to waste
Could it be worse

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

And high up above or down below,
When you’re too in love to let it go
But if you never try you’ll never know,
Just what you’re worth

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

Tears stream down your face
When you lose something you cannot replace
Tears stream down your face
And i…
Tears stream down your face
I promise you I will learn from my mistakes
Tears stream down your face
And i…

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

Delhi Daze Part 1

Sat, 06 Jan 2007 13:50:37 GMT

hello all..

i am indeed back in sheffield after a nice long vacation in Delhi. It's great to be back but sad to leave too. While typing emails at home, I couldnt believe i was at my old Dell desktop. My doggie greeted me wit much affection, jumpin around and wagging his tail like a windshield wiper. My, that creature is affectionate. Oh ya, my family were pretty kicked too. Flight got delayed, as usual. Aren't airlines great?

Anyway, emotional drama/s aside, i went to a party that nite, for chi chi and sik's birthday n had a blast. I did not get too wasted, met dozens of frds who hugged me to a pulp and eventually was one of the only sober ppl left and had to be a designated driver. sigh, why do i possess a conscience? hahaha.

the next day, i doled out gifts to meine familie. they were quite happy and suitably grateful n will hopefully buy me a good (read-expensive) gift in return. Mom said i had changed n "look like a fat cow". Apparently, everyone thinks i have become 5 shades lighter and have "filled out". Is this a good thing? Despite this, my grandparents fed me like a thanksgiving turkey and Sia couldnt stop admiring me. shes like a tiny stalker. its scary sometimes. On sunday i slept almost all day in my grandparents' room and nobody was allowed to disturb me. I was behaving like a brat ever since i got here and was not allowed near the kitchen and washing machine, except on the last day, when i was forced to clean my room and do a load of laundry! Ah, the luxury! Rohan has fallen in love wit my laptop but he doesnt dare touch it, coz gaurika didi mite smack him if he does. I kept talkin abt sheffield and the insane stuff we do there. spent a lot of lazy days doing nothing. The weather was pleasant to begin with, but is now colder than sheffield! Ack! Also got a haircut n a facial. My, how my beautician had missed me. Lol. I decorated my christmas tree in the main hall of the house, with rohan.

pallavi then came over n we went to m block market n hung out n ate street food. have been munchin on Oreos and various other snack food lately. went for dinner to Big Chill wit mom a few times. i also drove to North Campus and visited Akanska's flat. we hung out n pallavi came along n chilled, jus like old times. i gave em gifts too n they were really happy. me n pallavi went to our favourite cheap chinese place on campus, strangely named Soho, n ate tons. Ankit joined us there n cudnt eat much coz hes a vegetarian n we ordered lotsa meat...lol...he took me for an insane bike ride n then i drove home. i had forgotten how much i truly love tht one hour drive by myself...jus me, my car n my radio...mmmm....

i went to see a play at stephens with mom n pallavi. Zafar was acting in it and Ankit did lights and various other friends are acting too. got seamie his software (thank god for piracy!) and myself lotsa dvds, including The OC. yay!!! hindi ones with subtitles, for my 'foreign' friends. finaly got tome to go to kato's n adi was there too, so it was a nice reunion for the holy trinity. (nobody can call us self obsessed!) we attempted to work on my potch but were distracted by other things. adi loved the Scarface poster i got him (wh smith rox!) n kato liked his gift too. we all bummed around on couch n talked n made fun of adi n got nostalgic abt high school n watched movies, like the good ol' days.

earlier, there was family lunch n then later went out wit adi again n then went out partying wit zafar n the gang at our favourite pub...got quite smashed by the end of the day n crashed at zafar's and was so bloody tired that i fell asleep on his shoulder...aww....also shopped for xmas gifts wit mom.

There will be more on The Trip later, but for now, feast your eyes on these pics. More to follow. Wait for the next fix, people!

Luv always,

gk*

more cityscape pics!

Tue, 12 Dec 2006 21:35:52 GMT

Here are more pics from cityscape, even though I am sure you all are bored of them by now! Hehehehe...have fun! And observe the great cinematographer/director at work... most of these are from a grassy bank, at the top of the city, where we shot the opening sequence...some are indoors, on campus...the rest are at the Hubs...on the hill, you will see me, Varsha and Shafia...on campus, you will see me and Zoe...in the group pic...sitting (L to R) Kunal, girl whose name i forgot, ditto, and DK...standing (L to R) The Protagonist, Seamie, Juris, moi, Shafia and a friend of hers...

luv,

gaurika*

another Q&A day!

Tue, 12 Dec 2006 21:10:39 GMT

As if one was not enough...! Hahahaha..enjoy people!

luv,

gaurika*

If they made the SHU movie, my part would be played by...
Catherine Zeta Jones. She's a huge fan.

If not a filmmaker, what job would you be in?
A college English professor, in all likelihood.

If you could change any part of your body what would it be?
I hate my nose!

Favourite holiday destination?
Goa, India

If you could win any award, what would it be and who would you thank?
Oscar for Best Film or Best Director...I am not fussy...lol...I would thank Hollywood for inspiring me and Bollywood for the final motivation.

If you could invite anyone to dinner who would it be?
My dog. We have the best conversations.

What is your favourite colour?
Purple...duh! Have you not taken the hint yet?

When did you last go to the gym?
Next year

What is in your pockets?
Keys, lots of coins, a crumply (but clean) tissue and student ID.

Who is your hero?
The boy next door. He may be Batman or Superman in disguise and I don't want to miss out!

What is your favourite place in South Yorkshire and the North Midlands?
Alco's shower, because it has hot water when mine doesn't.

Favourite website?
Google Scholar! Everyone in my class would know why...hehehe...aren't inside jokes great?

What is the most you’ve ever spent of a pair of shoes?
Other than sports shoes? A ridiculous amount...almost 3000 Rupees!

What was your last lie?
I never lie. Er, that's it, yeah.

sometimes pictures speak one word

Wed, 06 Dec 2006 21:12:21 GMT

Here's a pic from my graduation. Not from Uni, as my top says, but from pre-school. I must have been about 4-5 years old, and all I remember from that moment is the photographer asking me to make a "serious" face. And I complied to the best of my ability! Lol...the result is here for all of you to see. Expect more pics soon. Just did a big scan of lots of pics! In other news, social life in sheffield for moi is finally heading in a new direction. Hmmm..wonder why...hahahaha...Must run now dears. I have studying to do, for once. Doing some research on an important project. All I will say is that it connects two of my passions-theatre and film.

Luv,

gaurika*

cityscape!!!

Sun, 03 Dec 2006 23:43:00 GMT

Hello ppl...

First of all, i am proud to present pics from the cityscape shoot. They are splendid! These are courtesy Shafia, our Producer, and her awesome camera. There will be more coming soon from Zoe, my co-director! A huge and warm thanks to all cast and crew and everyone who helped in their own special way. We are eternally grateful and enjoyed working with you all, every crazy minute of it!

Second, (My, aren't i somewhat organized today? Ya right!) i would like to say another (public) thank you to a dear friend, who has helped and supported me through many things lately, from missing keys to ailing health to serious stuff. You know who you are. And I just want you to know that I appreciate it all and who knows where I would be without your help. (Probably locked outside my flat, but that's another story!) Everyone knows how I hesitate like a man asking for directions, when it comes to asking for help of any kind. So I would say this is a rare thing for me. Sometimes people meet and instantly feel comfortable with eachother, in a matter of days. I usually don't believe in that stuff and think it only happens in Hugh Grant movies. But for now, especially today, I feel comfy and even if that lasts only one day, it is well worth it. I hope one day, years from now, you feel lucky to have had me as your friend, as I am to be yours today.

Now, before this blog veers towards the sappy end of the spectrum (keep it clean here people!) I shall depart, only to resurface soon, undoubtedly with some new piece of randomness. Takes cares peoples...I is bidding good night to all...

luv,

gaurika*

"Well," said Pooh, "what I like best," and then he had to stop and think. Because although Eating Honey was a very good thing to do, there was a moment just before you began to eat it which was better than when you were, but he didn't know what it was called. ~A.A. Milne

'somebody told me' i am smart

Sat, 02 Dec 2006 03:35:24 GMT

Dear all,

In continuing with the time-honoured traditions on this blog of:

Music fanaticism, particularly BritRock, and

R-a-n-d-o-m-n-e-s-s,

here we have a touch of both. A new song, a new band. Well, not new to me or you (hey, that rhymes!) but to this humble space. Yep, everyone..give a warm welcome to The Killers, who have just released their great second album. But do listen to the first one too. This song is just one example of their Brit-brilliance. Enough of the gushing, now on to juicier bits...

As you can see, it is late at night, and instead of working on films/studying film/watching la-di-da films, as a good film student should, i am waffling about on my blog. Sigh. After all, tis the season to be jolly and all that jazz. Which reminds me, I am thinking of 'doing something with my hair'. How i hate that term. It's just so...girlie! Sigh. Why can't I enjoy shoe shopping and spending hours (and millions) in the salon? I am a strange creature indeed. No wonder I have so few female friends. We don't have much in common apart from being female! So anyway, I am thinking of cutting my hair short and/or getting a soft perm. Hmmm..wonder how much damage that will be, money-wise.

In FAYRENESS, i have lots to do before my next pitching session, ie Dec 5th. But as everyone knows, i am a last minute slob, and hiiince will not work on anything til the night before it is due. The perils of being too smart for your own good are many. Heehee.

Now, something to look forward to is the fact that I am leaving for home ie Delhi in exactly two weeks. I wouldn't have remembered if Alco were not leaving one day after me and constantly doing his little 'countdown' jig. Yep, it's just an irish Ting, i Tink. Man, I am being totally rude tonight, aren't I? I am sorry, Alco. You spend too much time with me and I can't help making fun of you every chance I get. Blame my youth, i say. What i really miss about home is me car. I soooo miss driving my Baby! Ah, the open road...and cows and people and cycle-rickshaws and rare camels and buses and trucks. I love Dilli. No, really, i do. I miss Big Chill, Mocha, Momo's at M Block, idling around in North Campus, CP, being on the metro, Flavors, haggling with auto drivers, Def Col market in the late evenings, Janpath, searching for obscure dvds in Pallika Bazar, hangin out at IHC for kicks, walkin around in Khan Market...the list of places is endless, as are the people. I won't even start with people right now. It makes me sad. So i will refrain from this activity. Instead, I will explore another area of psycho-babble, as usual.

The topic for today is from a reader/friend who posed a question in a recent email to me, which i will answer publicly. I will therefore put it in agony-aunt format. It also makes me look clever and all-knowing, kinda like god. Now who said I have a tiny ego???

Q. Dear Wise One (= me, gk), I have a friend who is a boy (questioner is a girl) and we have been friends for a long time now. I suspect that I now have more-than-friendly feelings for him, but am terrified that perhaps he does not reciprocate (= feels the same way). What should I do and how can I find out what he thinks, in a subtle way? Oh please help, great One. You are my only hope! (ok, so i invented those last 2 lines...oops)

A. Dear Reader, let me start by thanking you for seeking my help. You will be charged exorbitant rates to call me, mainly as I am halfway across the world from you. So good choice in asking me online. Too bad I am not making any profit, though. Damn!

Now, you have not mentioned how long you have known this boy. If it is less than a year, it is really not that long and you must give things time to develop, like good wine. If it is longer than that, then yes, you are good friends. There are only 2 ways it can go from here: 1. You go on with it and run the risk of your strange lust ruining a perfectly lovely friendship, or 2. You 'get over' this temporary crush and find some other lucky boy to swoop down on. I will elaborate on both.

But first, you said that you 'suspect' you have these feelings. This means that deep down, you are unsure. You need some time alone to sit and think about this. You need to be clear in your own mind before you take this to your boy. Give it time and thought. Remember, Guinness (and gk, who drinks guinness) says "Good things come to those who wait". Also keep in mind that spending a lot of time with a person of the opposite sex usually leads to eventual crushes, simply because you get close and begin mistaking fondness for attraction, while the other person may have only platonic intentions.

Now, I come to the options. If you decide that this is indeed a temporary fancy/crush (word dependin on if you are Brit or American), then choose option 2 and indulge in some healthy flirting with him while you're at it, to 'get it out of your system'. (That phrase never made sense to me. Are we computers? With systems???) Anyway, if you realize that what you suspect is true, then things are more complex. Should you tell him? Should you attempt to take it to the "next level"? These are questions only you can answer. It depends on many factors. Is he single? If not, don't even bother. You said you want to know in a subtle way whether he likes you too. Ahem, you should know by now that i am not famous for subtlety. Me and James (Blunt) are siblings (bad joke alert!). But anyway, I understand your dilemma. As mentioned earlier, friendly 'love' can often appear similar to romantic love. There is a fine line, particularly between close friends.

Some people say friends make the best lovers and some say you should never hit on a friend, no matter how strong your feelings, as you will lose the bond. Also because sometimes the other person may not want that line crossed. You need to decide what side you are on. Personally, I have toed that fine line a few times, sometimes with disastrous results. Then again, some have had very pleasant results. And hiiince I have not lost faith and battle on. Then again, I also follow the 'physics of the court' philosophy (read previous blog entry, dated Oct 28) and am therefore not a good person to ask if you are not a fellow follower. The point is that this issue is really too personal and depends a lot on your personal choices and rules/philosophies of (love) life.

To sum up, I have no idea what I am talking about and have really not given you any advice, as I am yet to solve this problem myself. If you find a solution, let me know. Especially the subtlety bit. Cheers!

Keep the dream alive, people...

Love always,

gaurika*

Somebody Told Me ~ The Killers

(bit in italics is my fav stuff)

Breaking my back just to know your name
Seventeen tracks and I've had it with this game
I'm breaking my back just to know your name
But heaven ain't close in a place like this
Anything goes but don't blink you might miss
Cause heaven ain't close in a place like this
I said heaven ain't close in a place like this
Bring it back down, bring it back down tonight
Never thought I'd let a rumor ruin my moonlight

Well somebody told me
You had a boyfriend
Who looked like a girlfriend
That I had in February of last year
It's not confidential
I've got potential

Ready? Let's roll onto something new
Taking its toll and I'm leaving without you
I'm ready, let's roll onto something new
But heaven ain't close in a place like this
Anything goes but don't think you might live

'Cause heaven ain't close in a place like this
I said heaven ain't close in a place like this
Bring it back down, bring it back down tonight
Never thought I'd let a rumor ruin my moonlight

Well somebody told me
You had a boyfriend
Who looked like a girlfriend
That I had in February of last year
It's not confidential
I've got potential
A rushin', a rushin' around

Pace yourself for me
I said maybe baby please
But I just don't know now
When all I wanna do is try

Somebody told me
You had a boyfriend
Who looked like a girlfriend
That I had in February of last year
It's not confidential
I've got potential
A rushin', a rushin' around

Photo Album: last week on campus

Sat, 06 Jan 2007 23:22:23 GMT

last week on campus

me n bharti

farewell/grad day

class pic

class (find me!)

farewell day

in stephens (pic by ankit)

PK aur GK

Photo Album: Life in Sheffield

Sun, 03 Dec 2006 06:34:55 GMT

Life in Sheffield

me n alco, post-shoot!

me n alco, same day

uni-city campus

city campus

the theatre

second home!

inspiration spot

fav pub!

the road home

showroom cinema

More Photos...

Book List: One-Liner/Quote of the day!

Sat, 17 Feb 2007 19:48:30 GMT

One-Liner/Quote of the day!

Zafar: "'Dijibouti"
ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
The Jam: "If you gave me a dream for my pocket, you'd be pluggin in the wrong socket"
From the song 'Carnation'

Book List: The Bookshelf...

Fri, 12 Jan 2007 10:14:16 GMT

The Bookshelf...

Ian Mc Ewan: Amsterdam
won the '98 Booker Prize..short n snappy, wit a plot tht begins at the first page n doesnt reveal all til the very end..interestin..
Joanne Harris: Blackberry Wine
one of those rambling, drunk author type thingis...but an awesome read durin a vella del summer...
Margaret Atwood: Cat's Eye
semi-autobiographical, a story abt life, n the bonds we form n break along the way..
Gabriel Garcia Marquez: Chronicle of a Death Foretold
read it as a part of my course in coll, but this is abs brilliant! short n not-so-sweet, u can finish it in 1 sittin, but u wont forget it tht easily! truly original, its beyond words...
Paulo Coelho: Eleven Minutes
a less-hyped novel by the same author, but v grippin..mite appeal more to female readers tho...
Virginia Woolf: Mrs. Dalloway
one of my abs fav's...transcends all boundaries of time n givesu a peep into each character's mind..
Zadie Smith: On Beauty
brilliant piece of work..the kinda book u read slowly, savour each chapter..to summarize wud b to lose a bit in translation..
Margaret Atwood: Oryx and Crake
futuristic, witout shiny silvery robots..more like a post-apocalypse kinda thg..moves bak n forth in time, n has a nice ending..
Irvine Welsh: The Acid House
from the author of 'trainspotting', a collection of short stories with the same essence. entertaining mostly, touching sometimes. read when waiting or travelling, i'd say.
Paulo Coelho: The Alchemist
the Q is-does it live up to the hype or not? in my opinion, er, not exactly..but it's a great read for days when ur feelin low n u know how to fix it but need someone to shove u on ur way..does tht make sense?
Sylvia Plath: The Bell Jar
a MUST READ..so realistic, yet literary..
Irvine Welsh: Trainspotting
for all the hype, i cud find no semblance of a plot here! where, oh where, has my plot gone, where oh where cud it be?
Zadie Smith: White Teeth
a rich tapestry of characters n their stories, sorta like a cheeky rushdie..not for the easily offended!
Jean Rhys: Wide Sargasso Sea
anyone who loved Jane Eyre must read this..inspired by the character of Mrs.Rochester, a silent voice in J.E., a very interestin n short read..

Custom List: My Favourite Plays

Fri, 27 Oct 2006 09:59:30 GMT

My Favourite Plays

The House of Bernarda Alba
Federico Garcia Lorca
Waiting for Godot
Samuel Beckett
A Streetcar Named Desire
Tennesse Williams
Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?
Edward Albee
Six Characters in Search of an Author
Luigi Pirandello
A Midsummer Night's Dream
William Shakespeare
Othello
William Shakespeare
The Cherry Orchard
Anton Chekhov
Look Back In Anger
John Osborne
The Dumb Waiter
Harold Pinter